


Change

by KaytheJay



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Human AU, M/M, Trans Aziraphale (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:41:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28129320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaytheJay/pseuds/KaytheJay
Summary: Anthony comes home unexpectedly while Ezra is in the middle of one of theirexperiments.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 33





	Change

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello and welcome to day 17 of my Countdown to Christmas! 
> 
> Here we have a human and transgender AU. This idea comes from, you guessed it, my wonderful girlfriend. Honestly at this point, she may as well just control my Ao3 because she’s where most of my ideas come from it seems like. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

Ezra pulled out the dress that they were hiding from Anthony. It was something that they didn’t know how to bring up. They ran their fingers over the material before looking out the window to make sure that Anthony hadn’t returned home. They smiled before changing into the dress. 

They really weren’t sure what it was, but something about wearing the dress felt comforting unlike anything they’d ever felt before or anything they’d be able to explain to anyone. They felt more like  _ themself _ when they wore the dress, which was something that terrified them. 

They had been a guy for their entire life. That’s what they were born as. That’s what they were raised as. It had never felt quite right, but they didn’t have the vocabulary to figure out anything otherwise. They didn’t even think that there  _ was  _ anything else. Why would there be? Society had made it this way for a reason. Boys were boys, girls were girls, how could anyone get it twisted? 

They found the clip-on earrings he’d gotten just a few days ago to try. They’d always thought that pierced ears might be nice, but they weren’t sure if they were ready for the commitment just yet. Especially when it would mean explaining themself to their dearest Anthony.

And how the fuck were they to do that? 

They just . . . didn’t feel like they were a man? Likely story. Wasn’t one that they’d ever heard before. How could one just not be a man if you were born as one? That’s not how things functioned. They were aware that there was something fundamentally wrong with them. That had to be how it was. There really wasn’t any other explanation. 

They heard the front door open and they panicked. Ezra checked the time because they thought perhaps they were the one to have gotten it wrong. They shook their head and checked their phone. Perhaps Anthony had texted that he was going to be back early and Ezra had just been too ignorant to check. 

“Ezzie, where are you?” Anthony called. It would only be a matter of time before he found them in their bedroom. They looked at the mess of clothes on the floor. Not enough time to change. Not out in the open like this. They scooped them up and headed to the bathroom. Just in time too. They heard Anthony open the door. “I got off a little early, thought I’d surprise you. Is everything alright?” 

Ezra shook their head. No everything was not “alright.” It would have been nice to know that Anthony was coming home early. They wouldn’t have gotten the dress out at all if they had known. Now they had to find a place to hide it in the bathroom since they didn’t have access to the usual hiding place. Anthony knocked on the door. 

“Yes dear?” Ezra said, hoping their anxiety wasn’t bleeding into their voice. “I’ll be out in a moment.”Ezra changed into their usual attire and picked up the dress. They frantically looked for a box to shove it in until later that night when Anthony went to bed. They shook their head before shoving it in the shower and closing the curtain. Hopefully Anthony wouldn’t find it there. They walked out of the bathroom and smiled at the sight of their beautiful husband. “You’re home early.” 

Anthony wrapped his arms around Ezra and pulled them in for a kiss. This was his favorite part of coming home every day. He could have had the  _ worst  _ day at work imaginable, but just seeing Ezra was enough to make it all better. He had truly won the lottery when it came to partners he could have gotten with. 

“Thought I’d surprise you,” Anthony murmured. He kissed Ezra’s cheek and something brushed against the side of his face. He looked up in surprise. 

“Something wrong?” Ezra asked. 

“Earrings? When did you get your ears pierced?” Ezra reached up and grabbed the earrings hanging from their ears. Their eyes went wide. 

“I-” They pulled them off and shoved them in their pockets. “I didn’t,” they said. Though technically not a lie, it still felt wrong to Ezra to have said. Anthony knew about the earrings, there really was no point in trying to hide them now. They sighed and pulled the clip on’s out of their pocket. They handed them to Anthony. “They were part of an experiment.” Anthony looked at the earrings before looking back at Ezra. 

“What sort of experiment?” Anthony asked. 

“Erm . . . well I’m not exactly sure,” they admitted. “I don’t know how to explain it, rather.” Anthony looked at the earrings again. 

“They’re quite lovely,” Anthony said. “You have good taste.” Ezra blushed. 

“Why thank you my dear,” they replied. Anthony handed the earrings back. 

“Thinking of getting them done?” Anthony asked. “They would look lovely.” Ezra took a deep breath. 

“It’s a bit more than that,” They decided it was time. Anthony may as well know the whole story. Anthony did love them, after all. They just hoped that this wouldn’t change things. “Well, see, the thing is, I don’t feel like a man,” they said. 

“What d’you mean?” Anthony asked with curiosity. 

“I-” Ezra sighed. “I’m not sure. Being a man has just never felt right to me, you know?” Ezra shook their head. “No, I suppose you don’t know since I’m only just telling you this now.” 

“This seems like a heavy conversation. How’s about we go make some cocoa or tea or something and have this conversation in the living room,” Anthony said. “Our bathroom doesn’t quite seem appropriate to be having a conversation like this.” 

“Cocoa sounds delightful,” Ezra said. It would give them something to calm their nerves at least. Anthony gave Ezra’s hand a squeeze before heading out to the kitchen to start preparing the cocoa for the two of them. He prepared it quickly and quietly. He didn’t want to pressure Ezra into speaking when they weren’t ready to speak, but he also didn’t want to change the subject. Once they were settled on the couch, Ezra took a sip of the cocoa and tried to center his thoughts. 

“I love you,” Anthony said. Ezra closed his eyes and put his mug to the side. 

“You must think I’m a bit of a nutcase,” Ezra said. “What I’ve just said, it does sound a little bit crazy.” Anthony shook his head. “You can be honest with me. It is ok. I know there’s something wrong-” 

“I am going to stop you right there,” Anthony said. “God Himself could come down and tell me that there is something wrong with you and I wouldn’t believe it. You are absolutely perfect just the way you are.” He nodded. “Nothing is going to change about that. So, if you are comfortable sharing, will you explain to me what you mean by you don’t feel like a man?” 

“Yes, I suppose I must do,” Ezra said. “It is what has gotten us into this mess anyway.” They shook their head. “Only I really don’t know how to explain it. Just that I don’t feel as if being a man suits me. So I’ve-” they looked away from Anthony. “I’ve been doing some  _ experimenting  _ the last few months. The earrings were just the newest bit of the experiment.”

“What sorts of experiments?” 

“Dressing up as a woman. Trying different sorts of things like that. So far I’ve only found a dress, some shoes, and that set of earrings.” Anthony nodded. 

“How does it make you feel?” 

How to  _ explain _ it? It was as if for their entire life, everything was simply  _ wrong _ for them. Nothing worked. Nothing seemed to feel like it was made for them. Until they put that dress on. Somehow, dressing in a more feminine manner made them feel like they were actually themself. They were their own person, not just someone in a costume playing a part. They felt like their own authentic self for the first time in their life. Which was utter blasphemy considering who they were raised to be and what they were born as. Nothing made any sense. 

“It . . . it feels really good,” Ezra said instead. “ _ Incredible _ even.”

“Do you think that perhaps you might be transgender?” Anthony asked. 

“What’s that?” Ezra asked, having never heard the term before. 

“Well, it is someone who doesn’t think that they fit with the gender that the doctor gave them,” Anthony said. “You’ve really never heard of it?” There was nothing mocking to his tone, he just was not aware that Ezra didn’t know about transgender people. 

“There’s a  _ word _ ?” 

“Fancy things, we humans are,” Anthony replied. “There’s a word for almost everything. Does that sound like what you might be?” Ezra shrugged. They really weren’t sure. Anthony nodded. “Well, that’s alright. You don’t have to know now. It’s a whole process. Like finding out you’re gay.” Anthony squeezed Ezra’s hand. “Though if you end up being trans, perhaps I’m not as gay as I thought.” 

“You really-”

“I love you, my dear,” Anthony said. “I love you so much that I agreed to sign a piece of paper for tax benefits and dragging the government into our relationship. You’re still you, no matter what gender you appear as or feel you are. And I fell in love with  _ you, _ not your gender.” 

“You really feel that way?” Ezra asked, surprised that Anthony was being so supportive. This had to be like standing in the middle of an empty field and being hit with a falling piano. Completely unexpected. Perhaps, however, not in a bad way like a falling piano would be. Anthony nodded. 

“I married a very beautiful man. I made a commitment to him. I said in sickness and in health do death do we part and I mean what I say, Ezzie. And my promise still stands if it turns out I married a woman instead. Or some other gender entirely. You know, there’s more than just man and woman, but that’s a different conversation. You are my partner forever.” 

“I-”

“Can I see this dress of yours? I absolutely must see it. I’m sure you look stunning in it.” Ezra thought for a moment before shaking their head. This whole thing was a little too much too fast. They hadn’t been prepared to have this conversation today, so to turn around and show Anthony the dress right now as well felt like too big of a change. “That’s alright,” Anthony replied. “I don’t need to. I can see you in your wonderful dress that gives you all sorts of feelings some other day.” He leaned over and kissed Ezra on the cheek. “I love you Ezzie.”

“I love you too, my dearest Anthony.” 

***

A few weeks later, Ezra decided to surprise their husband. They decided it was time to let him see the dress. It felt like a big move. This dress was something that they had kept to themself and had purposefully been hiding for such a long time. Sharing it seemed surreal. Anthony was more supportive of the whole thing than they thought he would ever be. They slipped into their bedroom and pulled out the dress. They smiled at it before putting it on. 

_ It’s time _ . 

It felt right. No more secrets between them. Ezra was finding that there really hadn’t been anything to be afraid of here. Their husband was as amazing as always. Keeping secrets from him was terrible. They went out to the living room to wait for Anthony to come home. They heard the car pull up and they stood up so they could meet Anthony at the door. 

“Why hello to you too, Ezra,” Anthony said, pulling them as close to him as possible. “I was right, it does look good on you.” He kissed them before letting go of them. “Alright, let’s just do a full catwalk shall we?” Ezra shook their head. Anthony smiled. “I thought you might be against it.” 

“Can you try something for me,” Ezra asked. 

“Of course, my love. Anything.” Ezra hesitated. This was something that they’d wanted to experiment with since they’d first told Anthony about the whole gender crisis, but now that it was within reach it seemed like an odd request. They took a deep breath. There was only one way to find out if it was good or not. 

“Can you try calling me your wife?” Anthony smiled.

“Why of course, anything for my beautiful  _ wife _ . I married a very pretty person and made them my  _ wife _ .” Anthony grabbed hold of their hand, urging them to spin before pulling them in so their back was against his chest. “I am so very proud of my lovely wife. They are so very brave for telling me about their little secret. I am lucky to call them my wife.” 

Each time Anthony said wife sent a feeling of warmth all the way through Ezra. They felt as though this were the proper label for them, when in reference to their relationship with Anthony. Perhaps they were the transgender thing after all, though that bit seemed a little obvious when they said they didn’t feel like a man. 

Anthony tried to spin them again, and they complied. They loved this feeling of excitement of something new. They’d never experienced this feeling before, and they would likely never feel this sort of way again. 

“I think I like that,” Ezra said.

“Spinning?” Anthony said with a smile, knowing very well what they were really talking about. “I mean, yeah, I’m sure it’s fun but if you do it too much you’ll get sick.” He brought them into their arms and started swaying. Dancing to music that didn’t actually exist was always his favorite kind of dancing. 

“No,” Ezra said with a smile, knowing well that Anthony was only playing with them. “The wife thing. Can you do it from now on?” 

“I think I can humor my pretty wife for that one,” Anthony said. “I quite like how it sounds anyway.” He smiled and brought Ezra in close. “My wife is the best of wives,” he said. 

“And my husband is the best of husbands,” Ezra said. Anthony reached up and brushed his fingers through Ezra’s hair. “I love you my dear.”

“Until the stars don’t shine, my love,” Anthony replied. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hits and kudos mean the world to me. Comments fuel me into next week.   
> Find me on Tumblr @justanangelandhisdemon and @justademonandtheirangel


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